Self compassion when dealing with vision loss

Listening to the Still Small Voice

Our last newsletter raised the topic of compassionate responses to the trauma of vision loss in another. Judging from the email feedback, it resonated with a lot of people.

Today I want to touch on a related topic: self-compassion. Why do we find it easy to offer someone else compassion but difficult to offer compassion to ourselves?

When vision loss enters a family system, the way each member responds is shaped by all their previous lived experiences.

For some, this adjustment is complicated by long-standing patterns of self-neglect—especially if chronic illness, alcoholism, or financial strain are present in the family tree. In such environments, we may've learned the needs of others take priority, leaving little space to notice what's going on in our own inner emotional landscape.

The good news is learned behaviors can be unlearned.

Taking time to notice how we are feeling is a practice that helps increase self-awareness. What would it be like to check in with yourself several times a day to ask: What do I need right now?

Perhaps during this check in you discover hunger. Have a snack. Perhaps you discover fatigue. Take rest. Perhaps you discover loneliness. Connect with a friend.

It’s okay to slow down and take care of ourselves when we feel off. Noticing how we feel during stressful times is important. We all get sick, upset, or exhausted. Instead of pushing through, we can ask: What can I do to help myself feel better today?

Self-compassion starts with a pause. Then listen to the still small voice. Little by little we learn to trust it's okay to let go of unrealistic expectations of ourselves. We are only human. That is not a flaw. Give yourself permission to be human today.

Compassion is a beautiful gift to give your future self.

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